Most
of us are familiar with what the Ten Commandments tell us concerning our
parents.
Honor your father and your mother, so
that your days may be long on the land which Jehovah your God is giving to you.
(Exodus 20:12)
Honor your father and your mother, as
Jehovah your God has commanded you, so that your days may be prolonged, and so
that it may be well with you in the land which Jehovah your God is giving to you.
(Deuteronomy
5:16)
God is so serious about this that He
stressed this concept in many other verses in the Old Testament:
And he who
strikes his father or his mother dying shall die.
(Exodus 21:15)
And he who curses
his father or his mother, dying he shall die.
(Exodus 21:17)
You shall not uncover the nakedness of
your father or the nakedness of your mother; she is your mother; you
shall not uncover her nakedness.
(Leviticus 18:7)
Jesus also stressed this concept, it
is not just a duty for Old Testament Israelites, it is a duty for all
Christians:
For God commanded, saying,
"Honor your father and mother," and, "The one speaking evil of
father or mother, by death let him die."
(Matthew 15:4)
Honor
your father and your mother," and, "You shall love your neighbor as
yourself."
(Matthew 19:19)
God
is so serious about this that He allowed Levites (an Israelite tribe God chose
to be His priests to Israel) to defile themselves by attending their parents
funerals - which they couldn’t do for non-family members (Leviticus 21:1/3);
but, this was still considered to be a defiling act (Ezekiel 44:25).
There
were and are limits. For example, the High Priest could not do this (Leviticus
21:10/11), nor could a Nazerite (Numbers 6:7). God takes precedent over
parents.
There
are many others citation available - i.e. Psalms 27:10, Deuteronomy 21:18-21
and 27:16 etc. In fact, Proverbs is packed with verses that stress our
relationship with our parents: 1:8, 6:20, 10:1, 15:20, 19:26, 20:20, 23:22,
23:25, 28:24, and 30:17.
Many times, in both the Old and New
Testament, our behavior toward our parents is tied to our behavior in general:
Each man of you shall revere his
mother and his father, and keep My sabbaths; I, Jehovah your God.
(Leviticus 19:3)
In you they have despised father and
mother. In your midst they have dealt with the stranger by oppression. In you
they oppressed the widow and the orphan.
(Ezekiel 22:7)
You know the commandments:
Do not commit adultery, do not commit murder, do not steal, do not bear false
witness, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.
(Mark 10:19)
You know the commandments:
"Do not commit adultery," "do not murder," "do not
steal," "do not bear false witness," "honor your father and
your mother."
(Luke 18:20)
As you can see God demands we honor
our parents and He often ties that with our general behavior. If a person’s
parents are evil then the person must balance the duty to honor their parents
with the higher duty to God. You are not to act as your parents do if they do
not follow God:
And did evil in the eyes of Jehovah,
and walked in the way of his father, and in the way of his mother, and in the
way of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, who made Israel to sin.
(1 Kings 22:52)
Doing wrong is against God whether that
wrong is the same or different from the wrongs of your parents:
And did evil in the eyes of Jehovah;
only not like his father and his mother. For he put away the pillar of Baal
that his father had made.
(2 Kings 3:2)
Some folks believe that the Law is
done away with and that the command to honor their parents is no longer valid.
They even twist some verses from Jesus in the New Testament to back them up:
I came to divide a man
against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a bride against her
mother-in-law.
(Matthew 10:35)
The one loving father
or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And the one loving son or
daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
(Matthew 10:37)
The issue would be solved if folks
quit taking things out of context and studied the word of God line upon line,
precept upon precept (Isaiah 28:10) and by looking at all the verses given here
in this article. Put quite simply we do have a duty to honor our parents - but
not at the expense of our obligation to obey God.
Becoming a drug addict and blaming an
alcoholic parent may be a popular excuse but it is incompatible with being a
follower of Jesus. Becoming a homosexual and blaming a parent who was an adulterer
or promiscuous may be a popular excuse but it is incompatible with being a
follower of Jesus. Our duty to God is above all other duties. Our duty to God
requires us to forgive others. This is especially important to do for those who
wrong us directly and deeply. A family member or friend can often wound us
deeper than an enemy. No matter what your parents were or are like, you must
forgive them if you are to be a follower of Christ.
If you had good parents let them know
how much you appreciate that blessing. If you had less than sterling parents
and they are still alive you have a duty to let them know that they are
forgiven and loved. If you had less than sterling parents and your parent(s)
have already died you can still forgive them and honor their memory.
In Brotherly Love,
Wayne
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